Trumpoetry reveals aspiring Poet-in-Chief

Donald Trump declaims to Americans everywhere.

Donald Trump declaims to Americans everywhere.

Scholars, political strategists and us media elites with our chauffeured limousines and steak dinners have been struggling to understand the broad appeal of Donald Trump, a man whose contributions to society include possibly paying federal income tax.

Is it his fourth-grade speaking level? Is it his brilliant use of repetition?


But in poring over the transcript of Monday’s debate with Hillary Clinton, it struck us that what we have found in Trump is a Homer for the modern age. Yes, he is the Platonic ideal of the philosopher king, but more than that, he captures the essence–sometimes plaintive, sometimes grandiloquent–of the American spirit. Other politicians sputter in prose; Trump orates in pure poetry.

Trump’s mastery of the free verse form suggests that the presidency may be too low a station for his aspirations. We therefore present, in his own words (we added the titles) America’s new Poet-in-Chief:

 Leaving Detroit

I just left Detroit,

and I just left Philadelphia,

and I just — you know,

you’ve seen me, I’ve been

all over the place.


You decided to stay home,

and that’s OK.


Things I Want

Because I want to get on to defeating ISIS,

Because I want to get on to creating jobs,

Because I want to get on to having a strong border,

Because I want to get on to things that are very important

to me

And that are very important

to the country.



I mean, you know — now,

Everybody in mainstream is going to say,

Oh, that’s not true.

Look, it’s true.


How Wonderful

I watched the way you talk now

about how lovely everything is

and how wonderful you are.

It doesn’t work that way.


Losing Control

Whether that was Russia,

Whether that was China,

Whether it was another country,

We don’t know.


Because the truth is,

Under President Obama

We’ve lost control of things

That we used to have control over.


Good with Computers

I have a son.

He’s 10 years old.

He has computers.

He is so good with these computers,

it’s unbelievable.


Taking Them Out

She talks about taking them out.

She’s been doing it a long time.

She’s been trying to take them out

for a long time.


When They Formed

When they formed,

When they formed,

This is something

That never should have happened.

It should have never happened.


Who Knows?

Very lightly,

first time anyone’s

asked me that,

I said,

very lightly,

I don’t know,

maybe, who knows?



Oh, temperament,

Let’s go after –

I think my strongest asset,

Maybe by far,

Is my temperament.

I have a winning temperament.

I know how to win.


I Want to Give

It’s not an accurate one at all.

It’s not an accurate one.

So I just want to give a lot of things –

And just to respond.



We’re losing a fortune.

That’s why we’re losing –

We’re losing –

We lose on everything.

I say, who makes these –

We lose on everything.


More and More

Right now,

it’s getting tougher and tougher

to defeat them,

because they’re in

more and more places,

more and more states,

more and more nations.



She doesn’t have the look.

She doesn’t have the stamina.

I said, she doesn’t have the stamina.

And I don’t believe she does have the stamina.

To be president of this country,

You need tremendous stamina.


Oh, Really?

I never said that.

I didn’t say that.

Where did you find this?

Where did you find this?

Where did you find this?

Oh, really?


Feeling Sorry

I said very tough things to her,

and I think everybody would agree

that she deserves it

and nobody feels sorry for her.


I Say Nothing

Well, it was very –

I say nothing.

I say nothing,

Because I was able to get him

to produce it.

He should have produced it

a long time before.

I say nothing.

But let me just tell you.


It’s All Words

I do think it’s time.

Look, it’s all words,

It’s all sound bites.


Completing the Audit

I will release my tax returns.

And that’s against — my lawyers,

They say, “Don’t do it.”

I will tell you this. No –

In fact, watching shows,

They’re reading the papers.


Almost every lawyer says,

You don’t release your returns

Until the audit’s complete.

When the audit’s complete,

I’ll do it.


Kind of Thinking

But that’s the kind of thinking

That our country needs.

When we have a country

That’s doing so badly,

That’s being ripped off

By every single country in the world,

It’s the kind of thinking

That our country needs.


Good Luck

And what you do is

You say, fine,

You want to go to Mexico

Or some other country,

Good luck.

We wish you a lot of luck.


But if you think you’re going to make

Your air conditioners

Or your cars

Or your cookies

Or whatever you make

And bring them into our country

Without a tax,

You’re wrong.



Yes, is that OK?


I want you to be very happy.

It’s very important to me.

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